The Men of MOCA is a group of men who are caregivers and support persons for women with ovarian cancer. This group also includes men who have lost loved ones to ovarian cancer. To connect with a Men of MOCA Mentor or find out about our upcoming activities, email us at info@mnovarian.org or call the MOCA office at (612) 822-0500.

Jack’s Caregiver Coalition is a Minnesota-based community for men who are caregivers. Learn more.

MOCA Connections (Virtual or In-Person) meetings are open to survivors, loved ones and caregivers and provide meaningful support and connection. Learn more.

Show support
Be there with compassion and understanding. At first, you may want to put aside your desire to help. This will allow your partner, family member or friend the time to reach a healthier state of mind. The first few weeks and months after diagnosis are often a blur for families. Remember, every family is different. It is important to ask the family how they would like you to be involved. Always assure the family you are there to help them in any way that you can. It is also helpful to develop a list of things that you can offer to do.

Help to establish a method of communication
You can offer to be the person who gets on the phone to friends and gives updates. You can create a blog, website, or email list where friends and family can go to for information. This is a valuable tool for a patient who may not have the energy to speak with everyone.

Create a caregiving team
If you are the sole caregiver, it’s tempting to do everything yourself. However, it may be more effective and easier on everyone if multiple people assist. Family and friends will want to help, but they may not know what to do. As the primary caregiver, don’t be shy about asking them to help. Be specific in your requests. For example, you might say: “Go to the grocery store and buy these things. Then, bring them to the hospital.” Or, “Cook this dish and drop it by the house”. Sharing your “to-do” list will relieve you of some of the work and make family and friends feel they are contributing in a real way, too.

Inform yourself
Your loved one needs someone on the caregiving team who is well-informed about the diagnosis, current treatment plan and potential treatment options. If this is not a good fit for you, it’s OK to ask a friend who has some medical or scientific background to take on this role.

Doctors don’t have all the answers, and there is not always one obvious right approach to care and treatment. Sometimes difficult decisions need to be made that should consider personal quality of life, future goals, and risk tolerance as well as medical data and statistics. Give some thought to how those decisions should be made, who should be involved and try to have as much of the necessary discussion as possible before it becomes a pressing decision that must be made immediately.

Get organized
There are a lot of logistics involved in the caregiving process. Someone needs to organize all the paperwork, the insurance bills, routine finances, the medications and refills, the medical appointments, the food plan, shopping and more. You don’t have to do it all, but if you are a primary caregiver you may want to create a plan for handling the tasks above.